The best way to find peace in conflict, especially in divorce, is to shift your own expectations. It is a way of letting go. You know bad things will happen. You know there will be conflict. You know there are things over which you have no control. When you do not expect the other person to do the right thing or to make good decisions or even to make decision you would make, then you let go. Then and only then do you regain control by controlling your own reaction. You can have sad and angry reactions, and you have the right to your own feelings. But you can calmly make decisions knowing that you will always try to do the right things. Relieving yourself of the responsibility of trying to make someone else do the right thing is liberating. You are only responsible for how you live and what you teach your children.